Congrats, you found your bae, well done.
Would you like a heart-shaped prize?
I don’t mean to sound like the sad bitter one,
But just look at it all through my eyes…
I might not be in the honeymoon phase
But I’ve not fallen out of it either:
Discovering all those annoying ways
(Like why is he such a loud breather?)
I don’t need to keep up appearances,
As there’s no-one I want to impress
So the only time there’s “interference” is-
When I want to go out in a dress… 👀
I’m not looking for extra attention.
If I was I would just buy a pet,
And I feel that a dog brings less tension
(And potentially less trips to the vet.)
Finding a Plus One is painful,
So I’m often an awkward third wheel,
But I try not to look too disdainful
Of the sickly emotions they feel.
Perhaps one day I’ll change my tune
If I find a worthier fella,
But for now all I need is a decent sized spoon
And my giant jar of Nutella. ❤️