Filed under Funny Poems

Adulting

Adulting

All the time I was a kid,I wanted to be grown.I wanted to be biggerAnd to do things on my own. Now that I’m an adultI am grown enough to see,That being that bit biggerIsn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There’s no more pocket moneyAs I’ve got a job instead,But every day there’s bills … Continue reading

The Not-So-Friendly Ghost

The Not-So-Friendly Ghost

(To be sung to the original theme tune from Casper the Friendly Ghost…) Oh look, another ghost, Has taken off in the night. Things all seemed great, He’d enjoyed our date, Then disappeared out of sight. He said he liked my eyes, And was really glad to meet me, But they must have both been … Continue reading

Decisions II

Decisions II

Don’t ask me to make a decision. It’s an arduous journey to take, As the only time I’ve got clear vision Is when asked if I fancy a cake. Even then it can be rather tricky As when asked to decide on just one My fingers are suddenly sticky And the cake thief is back … Continue reading

My Nutty Valentine

My Nutty Valentine

Congrats, you found your bae, well done. Would you like a heart-shaped prize? I don’t mean to sound like the sad bitter one, But just look at it all through my eyes… I might not be in the honeymoon phase But I’ve not fallen out of it either: Discovering all those annoying ways (Like why … Continue reading

Oh Christmas Tree…

Oh Christmas Tree…

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree, You are a strange tradition. All year you stand there nakedly, Not changing your position. But when December rolls around You’re finally invited Inside our homes – where you are crowned, Adorned in balls and lighted. The problem is, oh Christmas tree, This makeover causes me stress As while … Continue reading

A Cheesy Christmas Song

A Cheesy Christmas Song

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But now I’ve let go, I finally know True love, for me isn’t you But something that’s far more … Continue reading

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill Went up a hill To photograph the view. Jill preferred nature Over portraiture, Which Jack had taken to. While Jill admired trees And the crisp autumn breeze, Jack was not quite as elated. He was hardly in awe Of the things that they saw, So he just became very frustrated. Jack felt … Continue reading

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a fence. Humpty Dumpty felt rather tense. Humpty didn’t like making decisions So he stayed in the middle with balanced precision. Humpty was asked if he’d ever get down, To which he responded with a deep frown. “You, my friend, may well be agile, But I am feeling rather fragile.” The … Continue reading

Onwards

Onwards

I thought it might hurt, but it doesn’t. I’m surprised by how little I care. I thought I’d be gutted and nosey and lost But really I’m just laissez-faire. I write poems to log my emotions But I’m not really sure how I feel, I’m just happy that I’m not as sad as I thought … Continue reading

Mary, Mary…

Mary, Mary…

“Mary Mary quite contrary, How does your garden grow?” “I live in a flat, so don’t be a prat, You know all of my flowers are faux.”