Filed under Parody Poems

Oh Christmas Tree…

Oh Christmas Tree…

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree, You are a strange tradition. All year you stand there nakedly, Not changing your position. But when December rolls around You’re finally invited Inside our homes – where you are crowned, Adorned in balls and lighted. The problem is, oh Christmas tree, This makeover causes me stress As while … Continue reading

A Cheesy Christmas Song

A Cheesy Christmas Song

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But now I’ve let go, I finally know True love, for me isn’t you But something that’s far more … Continue reading

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill Went up a hill To photograph the view. Jill preferred nature Over portraiture, Which Jack had taken to. While Jill admired trees And the crisp autumn breeze, Jack was not quite as elated. He was hardly in awe Of the things that they saw, So he just became very frustrated. Jack felt … Continue reading

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a fence. Humpty Dumpty felt rather tense. Humpty didn’t like making decisions So he stayed in the middle with balanced precision. Humpty was asked if he’d ever get down, To which he responded with a deep frown. “You, my friend, may well be agile, But I am feeling rather fragile.” The … Continue reading

Mary, Mary…

Mary, Mary…

“Mary Mary quite contrary, How does your garden grow?” “I live in a flat, so don’t be a prat, You know all of my flowers are faux.”

To My Dear Prince Harry

To My Dear Prince Harry

If ever two were one, then surely we. But woe, your life has been bereft of me. Miss Markle sadly somehow took my place, Before you got to see my splendid face. You’ve always been, by far, my favourite ginge, (Although at times your actions make me cringe) But now that even Sheeran is engaged, … Continue reading

She Walks in Beauty

She Walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the day Of pastel hues and balmy wind; But I have heard some people say That naturally she’s not soft-skinned; And ‘cause she wants to #hashtag “slay”, Countless selfies she’s already binned. One eyelash more, one blemish less, She photoshops and smooths her face, Thankful her hair is not a … Continue reading

The Bird and the Pussy-Cat

The Bird and the Pussy-Cat

The Bird and the Pussycat’s bright eyes met Through the towering pane of glass. Bird knew it was wrong, to pursue this love-song, But he thought he was pretty bad-ass. He fluttered his wings and puffed out his chest, And sang to the watching cat, “Oh pretty Pussy! You’re simply the best! Won’t you come … Continue reading

Family Gathering

Family Gathering

I wandered lonely as a cloud (That’s gained a little fluff this year) And slowly walked up to the crowd, Who smiled and said “Hello my dear!” With shining eyes and laughs so hearty, They were the life of the family party. Although they clearly meant no harm, Their idle chatter I did dread, For … Continue reading

The Pickup Man

The Pickup Man

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees. The sun was yet again hiding, amplifying the breeze. The road was a ribbon of tarmac that led through Cannock Chase, And the pickup man came driving – Driving – driving – The pickup man came driving, down to the Midland place. He’d a … Continue reading