“Mary Mary quite contrary, How does your garden grow?” “I live in a flat, so don’t be a prat, You know all of my flowers are faux.”
Tagged with Funny …
Decisions
I’m in a sticky situation, And I can’t make up my mind. Which of these paths I should take, And which to leave behind. The one in front’s attractive, But so’s the one at the back. And what one may have plenty of, The other one might lack. I’m not sure I’m quite ready To … Continue reading
Silly Silly Instagram
It’s a difficult world we live in; We’re surrounded by so many lies, And we use the technology we’re given To constantly compare our lives. If I stalk my own online presence, Then I’m rather surprised to see, That my life seems much more than pleasant, And in fact, I’m jealous of me. So remember … Continue reading
The Perils of the Jobless Woman
“WOE IS ME” I gasp and sigh, Hitting “send” on the job application, Proud that my CV contains not one lie, Not any false representation. I’m rather appalled to hear That I’m seen as a lady of leisure – As I don’t spend my days as a sightseer, Or browsing the shops for lost treasure. … Continue reading
#LoveIsland
It is that time of year again: We can’t make plans past 9pm. Our TV’s on, we’re eagerly waiting, Ready to watch some chaotic dating. The sun is out, the turtles are awkward, Coupling up is never straightforward, Their hair is perfect, their stomachs are flat, (But you can’t trust a guy with abs like … Continue reading
Roses & Realisation
Roses are red, Sunflowers are yellow. You came across As a charming fellow. Your gestures were grand, Your sweet-talk was slick, But I finally see now, You’re a bit of a pri – mative human being.
To My Dear Prince Harry
If ever two were one, then surely we. But woe, your life has been bereft of me. Miss Markle sadly somehow took my place, Before you got to see my splendid face. You’ve always been, by far, my favourite ginge, (Although at times your actions make me cringe) But now that even Sheeran is engaged, … Continue reading
She Walks in Beauty
She walks in beauty, like the day Of pastel hues and balmy wind; But I have heard some people say That naturally she’s not soft-skinned; And ‘cause she wants to #hashtag “slay”, Countless selfies she’s already binned. One eyelash more, one blemish less, She photoshops and smooths her face, Thankful her hair is not a … Continue reading
The Bird and the Pussy-Cat
The Bird and the Pussycat’s bright eyes met Through the towering pane of glass. Bird knew it was wrong, to pursue this love-song, But he thought he was pretty bad-ass. He fluttered his wings and puffed out his chest, And sang to the watching cat, “Oh pretty Pussy! You’re simply the best! Won’t you come … Continue reading
Family Gathering
I wandered lonely as a cloud (That’s gained a little fluff this year) And slowly walked up to the crowd, Who smiled and said “Hello my dear!” With shining eyes and laughs so hearty, They were the life of the family party. Although they clearly meant no harm, Their idle chatter I did dread, For … Continue reading
Tricky Pancakes 