Feb the 14th. It’s a funny date,
And lately one that I’ve grown to hate,
As it seems to me that its only aim,
Is to remind me that I’m on my own – again.
I’d love to say that I don’t care
About flowers and chocolates and teddy bears,
But if I’m honest, I’d be pretty chuffed
If I got a bouquet from someone buff.
It’d be the closest thing to magic,
‘Cause really, my love life’s pretty tragic.
I’m in a dysfunctional relationship, it seems,
With Tinder, Bumble, and men in my dreams.
Apart from them, it’s all platonic.
I profess my love for gin and tonic,
And although my evenings can get pretty hot,
That’s just at the gym, perfecting my squat.
In fact, the gym has become my new “bae”,
My new obsession at the end of each day.
‘Cause who needs a man to tell you you’re great,
When you can squat your body weight?
There aren’t many guys on whom I’m doting,
But I am rather fond of Dragon Boating,
So I’ll keep my hands firmly attached to the shaft…
Of my paddle. (Of course – now don’t be daft 👀)
And if anyone dares to ask me – why I’ve still got no man?
I’ll use my new strength to hit them,