Filed under Funny Poems

My Nutty Valentine

My Nutty Valentine

Congrats, you found your bae, well done. Would you like a heart-shaped prize? I don’t mean to sound like the sad bitter one, But just look at it all through my eyes… I might not be in the honeymoon phase But I’ve not fallen out of it either: Discovering all those annoying ways (Like why … Continue reading

Oh Christmas Tree…

Oh Christmas Tree…

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree, You are a strange tradition. All year you stand there nakedly, Not changing your position. But when December rolls around You’re finally invited Inside our homes – where you are crowned, Adorned in balls and lighted. The problem is, oh Christmas tree, This makeover causes me stress As while … Continue reading

A Cheesy Christmas Song

A Cheesy Christmas Song

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But now I’ve let go, I finally know True love, for me isn’t you But something that’s far more … Continue reading

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill Went up a hill To photograph the view. Jill preferred nature Over portraiture, Which Jack had taken to. While Jill admired trees And the crisp autumn breeze, Jack was not quite as elated. He was hardly in awe Of the things that they saw, So he just became very frustrated. Jack felt … Continue reading

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a fence. Humpty Dumpty felt rather tense. Humpty didn’t like making decisions So he stayed in the middle with balanced precision. Humpty was asked if he’d ever get down, To which he responded with a deep frown. “You, my friend, may well be agile, But I am feeling rather fragile.” The … Continue reading

Onwards

Onwards

I thought it might hurt, but it doesn’t. I’m surprised by how little I care. I thought I’d be gutted and nosey and lost But really I’m just laissez-faire. I write poems to log my emotions But I’m not really sure how I feel, I’m just happy that I’m not as sad as I thought … Continue reading

Mary, Mary…

Mary, Mary…

“Mary Mary quite contrary, How does your garden grow?” “I live in a flat, so don’t be a prat, You know all of my flowers are faux.”

Decisions

Decisions

I’m in a sticky situation, And I can’t make up my mind. Which of these paths I should take, And which to leave behind. The one in front’s attractive, But so’s the one at the back. And what one may have plenty of, The other one might lack. I’m not sure I’m quite ready To … Continue reading

Silly Silly Instagram

Silly Silly Instagram

It’s a difficult world we live in; We’re surrounded by so many lies, And we use the technology we’re given To constantly compare our lives. If I stalk my own online presence, Then I’m rather surprised to see, That my life seems much more than pleasant, And in fact, I’m jealous of me. So remember … Continue reading

The Perils of the Jobless Woman

The Perils of the Jobless Woman

“WOE IS ME” I gasp and sigh, Hitting “send” on the job application, Proud that my CV contains not one lie, Not any false representation. I’m rather appalled to hear That I’m seen as a lady of leisure – As I don’t spend my days as a sightseer, Or browsing the shops for lost treasure. … Continue reading